The Gummy Bear Bong is exactly what the name says: a 6.6-inch water pipe shaped like a gummy bear, in teal glass, with a diffused downstem inside. The mouthpiece is the bear's ear. The joint is a recessed 14mm set into the shoulder, and it sells for $59.99.
Smoking through the ear
Putting the mouthpiece in the ear is the joke, but it also solves a problem. A figure-shaped bong has no natural place for a neck, and most novelty glass handles that by bolting an awkward tube onto the top.
Using a feature the shape already has keeps the silhouette intact and puts the draw at an offset angle, which is comfortable to pass and keeps your face away from the bowl.
The joint sits in the shoulder
The 14mm joint is recessed into the shoulder rather than standing proud of the body. On a piece built around a silhouette that is partly aesthetic, but a recessed joint also sits closer to the glass, so there is less of a lever for a knock to snap.
Behind it is a diffused downstem, the standard low-maintenance form of filtration and the right call on a bong this size. There is no stacked perc to drag on the pull or trap resin in places you cannot reach.
Teal glass and 5mm walls
The teal is in the glass rather than painted onto it, so handling and cleaning will not wear it patchy. On a piece picked up as often as a small bong, that is the difference between looking right in a year and not.
Five-millimeter walls at 6.6 inches tall and 3.9 inches across make it heavier in the hand than the price suggests. Wall thickness is where cheap novelty glass usually cuts, and it is the first thing that shows when a piece meets a table edge.
Keeping it clean
A diffused downstem traps resin where a cloth will never reach. Change the water every couple of sessions, and once a week plug both ends and soak the chamber in isopropyl and coarse salt. Shake in short bursts rather than one long rattle, then rinse warm rather than hot so the glass never takes a thermal shock.
Specs
- Height: 6.6 inches
- Diameter: 3.9 inches
- Wall thickness: 5mm
- Joint: Recessed 14mm, set in the shoulder
- Percolator: Diffused downstem
- Body: Teal glass, gummy bear form
- Mouthpiece: The bear's ear
- Price: $59.99
Where it fits
This is a daily piece rather than a display one: small, easy to hold, and cheerful enough to be the bong people reach for first. It is also an easy gift for someone who already owns plain glass and nothing with a face on it.
What it costs and where
It lists at $59.99 through HEMPER, whose own line this is. The Jollypop Bong and the Milk and Cookies Bong take the same candy-shaped approach in the same catalog. More on the HEMPER brand page, or browse the rest of the glass and gear. For adults 21 and over.